Why Does Love Hurt..

At this point in my life there is only one thing that could save me, Strength.

    Why does it feel so damn difficult? Why can’t I reach this one thing inside me that I know I have dormant somewhere? I need it so much..

    I have all my senses heightened.. I have all my feelings emphasized.. I am feeling anything and everything.. WHY CAN’T I FEEL THIS ONE THING I NEED?

    One of the greatest ancient Greek taboos was acting like Gods. Attempting to be God-like and defying the natural order of life was one sacred holy taboo, and breaking it had its consequences. Loving so strongly, so deeply, so passionately, so genuinely, and so sincerely.. Dedicating all your feelings, all your thoughts, all what you were, all what you are, all what you will ever be.. Making sense of all your pains, your wounds, your sorrows, your aspirations, your inspirations, your hopes through this one person.. To Want.. To Desire.. To Adore another so selfishly.. The entitlement.. The possessiveness.. Turns it into a Godly love.. a love by having you would be breaking THE NATURAL ORDER OF YOUR EXISTENCE as a fragile weak human being. This.. This Godly love would be the cause of your destruction..  Of all the disaster.. of all the misery that follows.. After all.. YOU BROKE A TABOO!

    Buddhist constructed their entire spirituality on the idea that Desire is in the roots of human suffering.. Oh how I desired you..

    In the laws of Physics if you exerted too much Pressure on a definite volume you get a destructive explosion. And that is what you get when you restrict all the love you have on one person!  An Explosive Heartbreak. You cannot breathe too much love in one heart just like you can’t inflate too much in a balloon without it bursting.. 

    I can see it now.. I can understand it now.. I loved you so much.. I loved you so selfishly.. I loved you FOR ME not for anyone not for anything not for a bigger call or reason.. Not even for you..

    I gave all my Love to you, you definite space.. You definite you!!  Poured my heart to you not to the infinite universe..

  I desired you.. Instead of freeing myself from all earthly desires and needs to be set free.. I desired you and loved you so divinely..

But I will find my Strength.. and I will love the world..

I will find my redemption.. for every sin I have made..