Lost in Crazy..

When u look back at us.. Know that you where the one who ruined it.. And that I gave you everything I could ever give you.. And know that it isn't over because I stopped loving you.. It is over because I loved you too much it became too hurtful.. There is no place for me in ur life.. And no matter how hard I try I can't get anywhere with you. . Because you are  not willing to... And I hope you someday realize that it wasn't me that was being unreasonable. .. I hope u stop viewing me as some sort of a villain.. And actually realize how good I am to you I love you.. And I know that some part of me always will..

    Hello my dearest dearest best Doctor ever,  -whom I really grew much more appreciative of after meeting some very deluding biochemists in medical school-     After all the drama I put you through as a consequence of that damned rejection email, I kinda kept a mental note to thank you if any of the things you said turned out to be true.. and they DID!! Looking back at it I can't really understand all the drama I allowed myself to go through. . It was not the end of the world, but somehow my brain managed to register it as that!     I have been meaning to send you this email for months now.. Maybe I was waiting for the moment where I feel truly happy,  so that my words would be more genuine.  I am so happy.  Okay the daily hassles are still there. . The complications and a whole lot of stuff to deal with.. but I am really happy... for the first month or so of medical school I have contemplated the idea of dropping out every single day. . I just couldn't find myself or be my

   A waste of time.. yours and mine.. maybe that's all what "US" is doing to us...    We are not meant to be... let's just quit the lying to ourselves.. the going around in circles. .    We are not meant to be... I want equity. . I want mutual, care and understanding .. I want a Home.. and you want everything presented to you on a golden plate without even bothering to reciprocate it.. all you want is to be Selfish..    We are not meant to be because you are delusional. .. you made both of us believe that you are so deeply in love with me.. When the truth is all you ever loved was yourself. . And I can not hold you accounted for that because you were always this way and I have always known that and yet I allowed myself to ignore all the signs. ..     We are not meant be because you just don't care.. or care just a little. . or just not enough. . And it kills me a little bit more each time...       We are not meant to be because you are my happiness.. and all

"Estranged" When you're talkin to yourself And nobody's home You can fool yourself You came in this world alone (Alone) So nobody ever told you baby How it was gonna be So what'll happen to you baby Guess we'll have to wait and see ONE, TWO Old at heart but I'm only 28 And I'm much too young To let love break my heart Young at heart but it's getting much too late To find ourselves so far apart I don't know how you're s'posed To find me lately An what more could tou ask from me How could you say that I never needed you When you took everything Said you took everything from me Young at heart an it gets so hard to wait When no one I know can seem to help me now Old at heart but I musn't hesitate If I'm to find my own way out Still talkin' to myself and nobody's home (Alone) So nobody ever told us baby How it was gonna be So what'll happen to us baby Guess we'll have to wait and see W