So this morning I am going to be so happy acknowledging the true bless of having this intimately beautiful life lasting friendships, that goes on for yeeeeaaaars~ ~ The people who know you well enough, its fair for them to judge you even though they never do. The people who remember your memories as if they were theirs. The people who know you down to your taste buds, that even if you walked in into a new restaurant they would know before hand what you'd order. The people that force you to send a morning selfie in the days they don't see you in. The people that you are in such a harmony with you never needed to fight with, lie to, nor disappoint. The people you would never doubt nor fear you'd ever lose. The people that know the true meaning behind every choice of words you make. The people that you would sing crazy songs, mediate in the woods, dance under the rain with. Oh how lucky we are for having those people.
If I could turn you into sunshine, and absorb every wavelength possible. If I could make you into air, to inhale your every particle. But my lungs are heavy, and my skin is dry. My bones are brittle, and my flesh is wasted. But I'd still weave it all into you and hope that I'd be able to unwind myself without it left tangled around your spine. Forgetting the spineless back you taint with your lucid dreams.
I am still surrounded. Surrounded to still be sitting here listening to the same song, smoking the same cigarette. I have very little regrets, but you make the most of them. It is about the wide space in me I left open for you, and you very lightly left for disappointments. Nothing special about anything, except for the context and the little kindness-es you’ve sparkled over life on occasions. It tore my heart every time I had to leave and you gave me permission. “I am sorry honey; do I have a reason to not seek another?” “I just want you to be happy.” Selfish, self-centered, trapped little boy. I could’ve made you the happiest, if only you knew how to let yourself in me. I could’ve made you the realist, if only you recognized all the faults in your logic. Naive little boy. I am gone, I am so gone. But you still make me nervous, like all the hairs in my body waiting for a smile. Did you need to follow me to the end of the world to show me our love then tell ...
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