Syrengic Comorbidity

I have always wondered how applicable it is to word your GRIEF?
How is it possible to transmit such an intense deep emotional experience in a vocalised concrete manner.
How can I tell you,
How can I tell him,
How can I tell me how I feel?
   
    In those times where I feel my heart wrapped up in my losses, when I choke on the air I breathe, when a smile punctures holes in my soul; I feel so deviated from this vessel suffocating me.
     I look at life, beauty, richness, happiness and all I could see is the inevitable death, ugliness, loss, and , misery. 
I choke.
    I can see life clearly, naked, stripped, and horrifyingly obscene.  How could any beauty exist after so much ugliness.  What amplutide of joy is needed to antagonise all the gloom, for something genuinely good to be felt again.
Are we lost beyond redemption?
Am I lost without redemption?
I bleed.
     The losing of everything a life entitles you to have. The losing of every love, every warmth didn't snap it. The pain, the neglect, the abuse, the insecurities, the needs . The wasted prayers, dreams, hopes and hard work didn't.  The breaking of my heart didn't.  But now I could see it.
Life for what it is.  And it is hopeless.
I fade.

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