In a message for a Professor of mine, describing what I have recently observed within the Saudi society: " I am alright medical school started and I loath the people here and I just hate how stupid and limited they are. . I think I finally got what Closed Minded means.. within modern language we use it to describe uptight people, but after observing most of my classmates and how my educated intelligent professors approach them I came to understand the real meaning of it. It is like they are entrapped inside a bubble knowing that there is a world outside it but they refuse to explore it in fear of getting themelves contaminated with the evils they were raised to believe existed. . And the way the more aware -maybe more intelligent?- approach them in is disgusting.. delicately afraid of breaking that bubble and exposing them to logic, empathy, selflessness and every other beautiful aspect of humanity outside their pathological religious beliefs system . . They confused ...
I want the love that changes me, challenges me, turns me into a better person. The love that frees me from all humanly confusion. The love that opens my eyes to all life's secrets and wonders. Not the love that drags me down a spiral of never ending self-doubt, anger and disamy. Not the love that brings me to my knees to search for the shattered pieces of what used to be instead of building what will be. Not the love that wipes off what's left of finite beauty.
We meet so many people, at times too many, and they make us feel special they make us feel complete even if for a little while. And it has always been worth it. But this boy, he makes me feel real. Like fantasy never existed between us. Like his laugh makes my smile. Like his singing so harsh to the ears but too close to my heart. This boy; trenched. Humble. Broken. But playful and joyful like a heatstroke in outer space. Make me the realest. Because I've been looking down on earth for way too long.
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