The complexion of your darker skin against mine,
The fluttering of your eyes,
And me breaking your ribs because I fell in love with the sound of their crack.
Hi, I haven’t written in a while, but maybe I have never stopped. I have been thinking a lot lately, about the construct of who I am as a person and all what makes me, you know, me. Funny I know since I spent most of the past 10 years figuring that out, without a clear conclusion. Mostly a blurred-out line that started to plateau after a certain age. Was it 22? My first heartbreak, me realizing how all heartbreaks are similar and stem out of denial of what you thought would be yours? Was it 24? With me breaking every taboo I know to feel more? To love harder? To experience my existence with a greater depth? Was it 25? With me opening up my mind to see what’s really there? 26? 27? 28? 29? Getting wasted? Falling in love again and again? Kissing under the rain? Opening up my body in an attempt to detach from a physical being only to confine myself even more? Baggage. Emotional baggage. Long dark alleyways filled with dust, blood and alm...
We meet so many people, at times too many, and they make us feel special they make us feel complete even if for a little while. And it has always been worth it. But this boy, he makes me feel real. Like fantasy never existed between us. Like his laugh makes my smile. Like his singing so harsh to the ears but too close to my heart. This boy; trenched. Humble. Broken. But playful and joyful like a heatstroke in outer space. Make me the realest. Because I've been looking down on earth for way too long.
Hello my dearest dearest best Doctor ever, -whom I really grew much more appreciative of after meeting some very deluding biochemists in medical school- After all the drama I put you through as a consequence of that damned rejection email, I kinda kept a mental note to thank you if any of the things you said turned out to be true.. and they DID!! Looking back at it I can't really understand all the drama I allowed myself to go through. . It was not the end of the world, but somehow my brain managed to register it as that! I have been meaning to send you this email for months now.. Maybe I was waiting for the moment where I feel truly happy, so that my words would be more genuine. I am so happy. Okay the daily hassles are still there. . The complications and a whole lot of stuff to deal with.. but I am really happy... for the first month or so of medical school I have contemplated the idea of dropping out ...
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