Hi, I haven’t written in a while, but maybe I have never stopped. I have been thinking a lot lately, about the construct of who I am as a person and all what makes me, you know, me. Funny I know since I spent most of the past 10 years figuring that out, without a clear conclusion. Mostly a blurred-out line that started to plateau after a certain age. Was it 22? My first heartbreak, me realizing how all heartbreaks are similar and stem out of denial of what you thought would be yours? Was it 24? With me breaking every taboo I know to feel more? To love harder? To experience my existence with a greater depth? Was it 25? With me opening up my mind to see what’s really there? 26? 27? 28? 29? Getting wasted? Falling in love again and again? Kissing under the rain? Opening up my body in an attempt to detach from a physical being only to confine myself even more? Baggage. Emotional baggage. Long dark alleyways filled with dust, blood and alm...
Let him be. Let him go on. He'll grow back ever too beautifully, forgetting the hard bitter amber, that grew out of the barks of his trees. And his two little bright stars glittering under the rain, will shine again shortly under a less jaded sun. Trees dream of a different soil, but will die taken out of their own.
See there is a wall, and there are all those raw sentiments of emotion wrapped up pretty nicely in "not cares" and active denial. With the right sniff of never really knew me at all.
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