Lost in Crazy..

In the past two days I discovered that somethings are too overwhelming for our perception that it could be tooooooo damn surreal even when sober. I mean the sights we see are just too strange. Too foreign and too uneasy.That they just don't quite register. Like seeing bright light after dark. Or realizing a thought that was there all along but hidden. Or putting your cold hands in hot water. A distortion of the normal that our brains is so used to. An embodiment of theory into a real life slap to the senses.

"Like skin tastes but a bit sweeter"

Because you used those truths that only stood between the frames of that little moment and got trenched into lies a moment after. And I never liked the feeling of being lied to.

It isn't about them being gone. Or about all the death that happened between us. It is about them waking up one day and realizing that they did better.

Does it make you wonder about all your failed quests? Is it hard to prove something to yourself when you don't know what are you proving?  Are you realizing what you already know, about your shivered boneless spine? There is this overwhelming flood of excitement that climaxes to empty into nothingness. . A Nothing of no emotional memory. A Nothing with bland motion-pictures in random order. And there is this subtle aching anxiety of waiting, waiting for all the lies to transcend into honesty.   Remember the time you were given the courtesy of sincerity? Never. Because cowardice has always been a safer bed to sleep in. I'm sorry baby, I can't share it with y ou .

There is always this fine line between madness and sanity. Emotional maturity and you being dragged all over the floor. It gets harder to slip back into what you know you are after getting this far Building. . Polishing. . Nurturing. . Accepting. . With huge chucks of Denying here and there. . We've been always here searching for this great Resolution, but it doesn't seem to be knocking on our doors anytime soon. Impressed? Look again. This is supposed to be amusing, at least for someone.. or something.

PH=2.3 "I ran out of handing you chances to say the right things, when you never do." PH=5 "-Let me be there for you when you need someone. -What I need you for is something you cannot offer." PH=9 "It is about me being put on the shelf again." PH=13 "Because I thought you'd be different. That that was you for the first time in all those years actually stepping up." PH=14 "Because you only ever want me when I'm someone else's" And this is how bitterness grew.