Lost in Crazy..

It is rather amusing that some people would have the audacity to feel the entitlement to our love, respect, and attention just because blood binds us. I'm sorry, but on the scale of greater things there is no such thing as unconditional affection -and I've learned it from the best-. There is pathological attachment, when we'd delude ourselves to love those who have known nothing of what it means to love us. There is nothing as giving something without expecting a return. We are made up this way. No point in covering it up with our faked-up ideals. And certainly no point in walking one step towards those who had their entire life to walk to us, but instead took the other direction dragging us behind.  Selflessness does not fucking exist, there is a midway in between called two-sided compromises. And selfishness should never be met by being the bigger person, but rather with a reciprocated use of the same poison. At the end of the day we'd only be stuck with our ow...

You my love, have come a long way from being a random number to becoming a hole in my heart.

You'd try to fake love, then fake it even more to make up for the guilt of needing to fake in the first place. And soon enough you realize you are running thin, but on love.

But you're always tired, and it is always me.

I have been feeling depressed thinking of the nothingness I've established this summer, but then I realized the most heartwarming realization. I might have not been to space, but I have certainly wandered the most beautiful of all galaxies. This summer was the summer I fell deeply in love, and there is nothing more fulfilling of an achievement. I have never felt this infinite amount of affection for anyone before, with this infinity only growing into greater infinities looking into his eyes, or smelling through his skin. You might not be the love of my life yet, but I am here willing to start believing in the sentimentality of all principles. 

"The sound of your voice painted on my memories." The cold winter night,  with the clear black  beautiful starry sky. The empty classrooms. The darkness.  The warmth. The gentle kisses.  The promises forgotten.  The love that's wasted away. . The starry sky, Our Starry Sky.

I am no writer, which ensues a deeper meaning to whatever words my heart forces me to write. I am no sentimentalist, I never really give in to words and dreams. But I find myself here searching for letters to draw the words describing what I don't have the audacity to admit. Maybe, I have been so accustomed to anticipating the worst possible scenario, to an already impossible situation, that I can't accept a highly probable one. It is like I am afraid that if nothing seems to go wrong something worse from all wrong would be inevitable. Maybe, I have been so consumed battling for perfection, that when an eye -so very effortlessly- sees me as such I shrug out of my skin. Maybe, I have been questioning the existence of unconditional affection, that when it crosses my path I render it blasphemy. I am not sure if I have been here before, or if this is a new place for me to get lost in. But I know that either ways it could be Beautiful. I leeched on edges my entire life, ...